Dying of old age

So my mother is 83-years old and she's in fairly good health. Here lately though she had lost a great deal of her minerals; her potassium and sodium plummeted and her electrolytes were crazy. She had no strength to do anything. All she wanted to do was sleep. One day my eldest sister was over helping mom out with some stuff. Mom was kind of out of it. She wasn't speaking right and then my sis had me take her blood pressure. It was high, not crazy high, but high enough to get us concerned and get her to the emergency room.

She was admitted that night and spent a week in the hospital and then was released to a "skilled nursing facility" (nursing home) for a week as well. Now she's home and she's getting stronger but I warned my sister, my eldest especially, that what we may be witnessing is mom dying of old age. Her appetite is not what it use to be. Her energy isn't either. Her body is slowing and thought she hasn't thrown in the towel just yet, she's on that road.

It was a mistake to tell my sister I thought this what "dying of old age" meant. She kind of overreacted, in my humble opinion that is. I got to thinking, this is how one dies of old age. It's a long, slow process. It begins with the metabolism and then the body starts shutting down. This can go on for years.

It's kind of sad. I mean of all the choices out there for death a slow lingering death is not exactly the most sought after. Quick and painless! That's what we all want. At least I do. My dad died of a massive myocardial infarction....a great big heart attack. He was sick leading up to the big one. He slept a lot and was completely off his feed and then WHAMMO! Gone. I came home from work and there's an ambulance in the drive. Crushed me for many years.

In a way I'm glad my mom may be going out the long lingering way....although I must take a minute and be completely selfish, it's a pain in the ass for me, I'll explain in a bit....that way she and I can say our goodbyes. I can have some time with mom to learn some things before she goes. She can tell me how much she adores her grandchildren more than the children she actually had. (Thanks mom.)

OK, the "pain in the ass" part. Well, I'm socially active. I truly am. I have a non-profit group of artists who meet once a month for shows, some of us also gather socially. I have friends who like to go to bars and play pool and for general bar mayhem. I like going to art shows. I like going out to dinner. I like being out of the house as much as possible. But living with someone who needs extra attention, not 24/7 type attention...not just yet...but just some extra attention, is binding. I don't like being bound. But this is what my life is just now. And that's OK because I know things will change again and whatever I learn from this time I'll need for the next change.

We all take lessons learned from station to station, or at least we should.