In The Life (A)

In the life that is fat and lazy, Virgo McSimmons ate another enchilada and burped. "Aye dios mio!" She groaned shifting in the chair that moaned in protest against the oppressive weight, the despotic rolls of fat and the noxious fumes emmitted silently with every move. If any chair ever wanted to die it was indeed this chair. She looked at her neatly painted toenails. She wondered when was the last time she was able to touch them. Her bejewelled cell phone rang.

"Ya?" She so graciously answered.

It was her sister in the life that needs a major miracle. Aries Jalapeno vehemently believed in everything. There was nothing in this world she couldn't wrap her head around and that was the problem. Seeing possibilities every where and in every thing or every one made for a confusing life.

Aries Jalapeno rattled off at her sister, "If 'A' is true and says that 'B through 'Z' cannot be true, then what about the arguements that 'B' through 'Z' make against 'A' being the ONE true thing. Because they make pretty good arguments. Am I being untrue to the one true thing or am I being a blind sheep? Am I going to heaven or hell or will I just rot in a grave and not be anything more than the ash that is left. And what of that? I mean ashes to ashes, dust to dust? Really... I want to love and be loved, I want to believe and be believed but I have too many questions. Hermana, what am I going to do?"

Virgo McSimmons sighed, took a cigarette from her pack, lit it and said, "Hermana, did you take your meds?"

Aries Jalapeno blasted back, "I DON'T NEED NO FUCKING MEDS, YOU STUPID BITCH!!!"

Virgo McSimmons hung up the phone. There's only so much you can do so its best to do nothing at all.

In the life that needs a more than just a jumpstart, Gemini Frankenbaum (yet another sister of Virgo McSimmons) added another painted, unsold canvas to her wall. She was torn between the general loathing she had for the general public and the deep love and need she had for their money.

"People don't get art these days. Those who do seem to be stuck in some insestuous clique, some just want to collect names and others just want to get something that goes well with the couch. People suck."

There was a knock at the door. Gemini Frankenbaum looked out and saw a small boy with a note in his hand. As usual the boy was wild haired and dirty from head to toe. Gemini Frankenbaum opened the door, "Capricorn McSimmons, what can I do for you?"

"Mama sent me with this," Capricorn McSimmons also known as Seven of Nine handed the note to his aunt. "She say Aries Jalapeno has gone off her rocker. Whatever that means."

"Come in Capricorn McSimmons, Scorpio Socorro is making some cookies...but for God's sake wash your hands first!"

The note read, "Gemini Frankenbaum, Aries Jalapeno has gone off her rocker. I think you know what we need to do now. Your sister, Virgo McSimmons. P.S. Tell Seven to stop at Pink's on the way home. He knows what I like from there. I didn't tell him because he never listens to me."

Seven of Nine sat watching Scorpio Socorro making cookies. Scorpio Socorro had been Gemini Frankenbaum's house maid since she was a teen. She inherited Scorpio Socorro from her Tia Aquarious Angelos. Scorpio Socorro was stooped and withered but refused retirement however continually bitched about "having to do everything." According to her Gemini Frankenbaum was a messy, lazy woman who only thought of painting and drinking. But God forbid she were apart from her Gemini Frankenbaum.

"Capricorn McSimmons, did you get a cookie?"

"Yes."

"Then get to Pink's, your mother wants the usual."

Capricorn McSimmons rolled his eyes and shuffled off to the greasy fried chicken hall of fame otherwise known as Pink's.

Gemini Frankenbaum looked at the note one more time and said to herself, "Well, if its time its time." She threw the note into the fire in the kitchen and Scorpio Socorro snorted in contempt and handed Gemini Frankenbaum a cookie.

There's only so much you can do so its best to do nothing at all. And when nothing reaps nothing, everything falls apart.

"A little voice inside my head said, 'Don't look back, you can never look back.'"

Sometimes you gotta listen to the little voices. I'm learning to let things go. To not look back. It's important, some people think, to look back and constantly evaluate and play the "What if..." game. What if I had said yes? Then I'd be married and maybe have a child or two or I'd be divorced or I could have been the victim of abuse or I could have grown old with a man I dearly love or any other number of possibilities.

Some people's what if's are a lot scarier. What if I had never been abused or exposed to abuse? Would I be normal? What could have I accomplished? I ask myself this what if a lot. I was hesitant to write this blog but I couldn't move any further until I wrote this one. It might be a little more exposure than what I really want but quite frankly....I'm 43-years old and I just don't give a fuck what any one thinks. So here it goes.

I grew up in a very negative environment. To this day I am still connected to this environment through necessity and obligation. And that sucks. However, I need to just pull myself up every day and meet these obligations eye to eye and toe to toe. And I find that I can't do that while looking back all the time and wondering what if. It's impossible to re-write history and let's face it, my history made me the charming little buttercup you know today. It's also impossible to grow if you never leave the past where it belongs.

This was a little tough to write. It's not as tough as I thought...a little cathartic. I was hoping as much.

Well, I suppose this little part of my blog gives you some insight as to why I call Corpus Christi The Vortex of Hell.

Art and the dealings thereof

Do you remember the Roadrunner cartoons? Remember when Wyle E. Coyote's would run off a cliff and not realize it until he's just hanging there, he looks down and PIFF! He's falling down into the canyon of jagged rocks below? Yeah, that's what it's like running an art group. And especially if you've never run a group of people before...EVER.

One: When people get initially excited about something it is short lived. Say you're putting a show together and you tell your artists about it and the first ones to get REAL excited to be part of the show are the first ones to flake when it comes down to the real work.

Two: There are some very helpful people out there. I've run into people who have bent over backwards to help us out with our shows. Its fabulous to see how much art is really appreciated here in the Vortex of Hell. (Please see tomorrow's "Vortex of Hell" post.)

Three: Promotion is expensive!!!! Holy cow! Seriously? Should I just give you my ovaries for that 1 x 1 in the paper? So for color and a 2 x 2 it'll be the ovaries plus a kidney? No thanks.

Four: Any art show held at a hotel is not going to make the serious artist any money. If you're making Christmas trees out of seashells, you'll be banking at these shows.

Five: You never know until you ask. If you have a request you'd like to make of someone, then do so because the answer just may be yes. I've learned not to be afraid of asking questions or requesting something of someone. Being afraid is a waste of energy.

Six: You will get a thousand people telling you how much they love your work and maybe one person will buy it. Get use to that quick but it will happen over and over again.

Seven: Price your stuff for what you would feel comfortable paying for it. You know the work you did. You know what your supplies cost you. You know how long you spent on it. You know what it means to you. Don't go on what others may think you could possibly get for your work. It's your piece, pick a price and be comfortable with it.

Eight: There is an endless amount of work that you will never be paid for and you will never get thanked for so you need to make sure you have a good support system to pull you a step or two away from the edge when you get frustrated with all of it. They will let you vent and curse and be ugly and then say, "Are you done? Then get over it." It works. Trust me!

Nine: Believe in your work. If you don't, then walk away. Continue to learn and continue to be inspired.

Ten: You will be working with many different people and they are ALL DIFFERENT and you can't change any of them. You can change your working situation with them, like choose to NOT work with them any more. But you cannot change them. Ever.

No matter what you do, how you prepare, you will be Wyle E. Coyote. You will be running only to look down and find out the ground from under you is gone. Hopefully you'll have a great support system who believes in what you are doing as a group.